Descendants

Hello & welcome back to A Look at Disney. Well, Descendants aired last Friday and I watched it. And my thoughts... uhm, I didn't like it but I kinda figured that going in and there were a lot of things that really made no sense or just angered me but I think I'm less upset with the movie and more upset with what it is.   Because if I'm to be honest, this really didn't feel like a movie.   Yes, that is true of a lot of Disney Channel movies but the thing is, this seems more like Disney wants this film to be a franchise starter so that they can have something that can compete with Mattel's Ever After High, which itself is a spin off of Monster High.

Now this is not a new criticism, when a popular line takes characters and re- imagines them in a High School setting as the same criticism was levied against Equestira Girls, when the first  characters designs were released.

The thing that led me to this conclusion was that before the film was even out, there was already a line of dolls, a prequel book and an online web-series. Now yes,  most of those can be considered as tie-ins or promotion for the movie but it feels as though, Disney wanted to get this merchandise out there so that kids would be enamored with these new characters before the film even aired.

 



Which on the one hand, I do get why they would release these before the film but then you add in that 4 days after the film airs,  Disney Channel announces an animated shorts series based on Descendants to start airing next month, I grow suspicious.








We won't go over how bad, the animation looks but yikes.   To me,  it's when you combine all of these elements together that I don't think Disney saw this as movie but rather as a launching pad for a new franchise.  Now having said all of this, I can't review it as a franchise starter, I have to review it as a movie.  And it does fail a bit in that area. Also one thing to keep in mind with me is that I'm a fan first and a reviewer second.   So, I apologize in advance if I get a little nitpicky but I will try to reel in the anger because this doesn't need to be a text version of Moviebob's review of Pixels.  I'm against using that language on a Disney blog to begin with.   So, that's why I am bringing something back from the Mickey Mouse (2013) Mondays reviews.  Oh, Elsa...

I know ,I know how people feel about Frozen but during those reviews ,postings images of Elsa during Let It Go was my coping mechanism to not get too angry and there are certain  things in this film that did make this Disney fan, a bit upset but we will come to those as we go along.  Now seeing as I did a Can We Talk about for the film's trailer, I won't be covering that here.    Though I will share with you the first six minutes as there is something that Kenny Ortega said that does bug me. There is something about  his statement of this being a Once Upon A Now fairy tale that just really didn't sit well with me.    I truly get what he was saying because stuff like Once Upon A Time could also be considered Once Upon A Now because they place these classic fairy tale characters in present day but there is something about Mr. Ortega saying that, that just rang false to me.  I mean mo disrespect to Mr. Ortega as I do enjoy the High School Musical films and Newsies is one of my favorite musicals but that just really bugged me.   Okay, with  this really long introduction outta the way, let's finally get this review started.





The Plot


We open the film like the classic Disney films of past as we see a storybook but oh wait, what's this? It's an IPad.  Yeah, the cynic in me did come out when I saw the storybook turn into an IPad because that came across as the film trying to be hip and modern. From voice-over narration provided via main character, Mal. We learn that Belle and Beast had united all of the Disney kingdoms into the United States of Auradon and had banished all villains, sidekicks and accomplices to the Isle of The Lost, an island with a barrier that makes it impossible to escape and also impossible to use magic.  We'll be coming back to magic in this film because this film with magic doesn't really make much sense.  We then are introduced to Belle and Beast (He's never given a name other than Beast in this movie) and their son, Ben who is about to be crowned king soon.  Keep in mind, that's he's only 16 and both of his parents are still alive.

And here, we learn that Ben,  the son of Belle and Beast has decided on his first proclamation as king.  To give the kids of the villains on the Isle of The Lost, the chance to attend  Auradon Prep and to live there. Beast is at first against because the villains have committed unspeakable crimes.  Let's see here, The Evil Queen poisoned Snow White with an apple. I'll give you that. Jafar tried to use The Genie to become Sultan of Agrabah. Fair.  Maleficent put Aurora is a deep sleep and made it to where she couldn't live with her family for the first 16 years of her life. Yeah, that's reasonable. Cruella.... stole puppies.  Uh yeah... Look at I'm not saying that's not bad but One of these isn't like The Other.  Now, if I may I'd like to bring up Once Upon A Time during last season also had Cruella. And I many of these same concerns but the actress playing Cruella put my fears to rest and Once also found a reasonable way to fit her into the show by making her a crazy psychopath that was given magic powers by The Author because he had a mad crush on her.

I apologize for going into such great detail about this but from the moment, this film was first announced, I had thought that Cruella felt out of place and was only put in this film because she is one of the most popular Disney villains.  Getting back to the plot of the review at hand, Beast is at first against this but Belle reminds him that she gave him a second chance and that these kids deserve a chance and then we cut to the Isle of The Lost, where via the first song number, we are introduced to our main characters, Mal, Evie, Jay, & Carlos.  After which Maleficent shows up and tells them that they'll attending Auradon Prep.

The kids at first against this but they have no say in the matter as Maleficent wants them to go there and steal The Fairy Godmother's Wand so that she can bend good and evil to her will.  She provides Mal with her spell book, which she apparently keeps in a freezer and oh, she needs The Evil Queen's help because Maleficent doesn't know how to open a fridge.  Yes, really!  Each of the kids have a reason not for wanting to go but it doesn't matter as they end up going as a limo comes to pick them up and they get their taste of magic.

The kids arrive at the school and Doug, Dopey's son is their guide. And we get a joke about how he can't remember the names of the Seven Dwarves.  It's not much but I'll take it. And after sometime at the school, they head to a museum houses artifacts from classic Disney movies such as Fairy Godmother's wand to steal it but that goes well as you might think.  Because while they do get close to obtaining the wand, Jay happens to trigger a security alarm and that alerts the security that Mal had put to sleep using her mother's spinning wheel of the presence of someone in the building.  And then we see their first day at school, where Jay joins the school's sports team and Carlos,  has a run in with a dog and is scared of them because his mother had told him that dogs are nasty and foul creatures but he gets over his fears of dogs in less than one scene.  Eh, that's not how you do character development.  You had a good idea here but you should have let this be more organic.  The idea of Carlos getting over his fear of dogs is a good idea but the problem is that the film rushes this  and that causes me to  never buy into him no longer being afraid of dogs.

Meanwhile Evie develops a huge crush on Chad Charming, son of Cinderella and Prince Charming.  And this guy is a jerk! He knows that Evie has a crush on him and uses that to get her to do all of his homework because she has a magic mirror that she can ask anything to it and it'll give her the answers.  Seriously, this guy is so smug and this guy only gets better because both the film and the online web series, School of Secrets hint at that he cheated on half the princesses at school including the daughter of my favorite, Rapunzel. Who thankfully avoided being in this thing.  Are we sure that this is the son of Cinderella and Prince Charming from this movie...

And not the son of Cinderella's Prince from Into The Woods.

I wouldn't be shocked if he used this famous line from Into The Woods on some of the princesses.

I was raised to be charming, not sincere

I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I really take issue with the idea that Cinderella, the nicest of Disney princesses and one of my favorites could raise such an inconsiderate jerk.  I'm calm, I'm calm but just ugh...  Here have an Elsa picture.

And from there, the film really lulls because not much else happens.  We find out that Evie learns of the wand's usage at Ben's coronation.  Mal tries to befriend Fairy Godmother's daughter, Jane by giving her a makeover by doing up her hair.  Or attending a good behavior class that even the Villain Kids find boring taught by Fairy Godmother. And I would agree with them but I do like all of the answers to the questions in this class are Classic Disney Tropes.   But this does bring  up an issue I have with this movie.  At the beginning of the film, we learn that it is forbidden to use magic.  Fairy Godmother is the one that implemented this rule.  I get why this rule was put in place because magic shouldn't be used as an easy way-out as we saw with Evie earlier in the film but this being a Disney movie, that does seem  like a rather strange rule to have in place for something in a Disney movie because Disney films are known for magic going from Pinocchio to Aladdin to The Princess and The Frog.   And  also if you are going to make this a rule,  enforce it because the kids get away with using magic at least twice in this film and only once is there any sort of consequence.  Because late at night in the school's kitchen are seen making cookies  to use as a form of a love potion on Ben.  (I forgot about him)  but they need a human tear of sadness, which they snatch from Lonnie, the daughter of Mulan.

 Which the next day before the school's big game, Mal gives to Ben to eat and he does and through the game,  Jay and Carlos help the team to win the game.

 And Jay is named MVP.   And after the game through song declares his love for Mal and asks her to be his date to his coronation upsetting his current girlfriend, Sharpay Evans. Oh, I'm sorry I mean Audrey, daughter of Aurora.  And she ends up going with Chad instead.  I hope she knows what she's getting into.  After this,  Chad turns on Evie and has her magic mirror taken away.  And she starts to develop feelings for Doug.  We also get a glimpse of Chad and Mal's first date by the lake and I'm sorry, this scene was just so boring and had one of the most lifeless numbers in it from this movie.  Sometime later, afterwards we see that Fairy Godmother had arranged a video chat for the Villain Kids with their parents but apparently none of the villains know how to turn on a laptop as it actually takes them sometime to figure that out.

Wow, I haven't used that in a while but afterwards, we do get a nice scene of the villain kids standing up to their parents and letting them know they aren't going to be what they're parents think they are destined to be.  This was set-up because the school is having an upcoming Parent's Day and the villains for obvious reasons aren't allowed to leave the Isle of The Lost.  And yeah, things could have gone a little better and no, I'm not referring to the Hip-Hop Remix of Be Our Guest.  Granted, that was pretty bad. There is a bigger problem at stake here.  Because you see Audrey's grandmother comes to visit her on Family  Day. And having never met Mal, she doesn't know who that is but when she learns that she is the daughter of Maleficent.  And well, that opens up some old wounds.  

I appreciate what the film was trying to accomplish with this scene because I absolutely adore the concept of the parents addressing the hurt and pain that they were put through but I take issue with Queen Leah putting the blame on Mal.  She has every right to be hurt by what Maleficent put her through but it isn't right of her to blame Mal because if we go by this film's set up.  Mal, while most likely knew about her mother's actions, she played no part in that as she was most likely not alive yet. This sadly makes the other hero kids turn on the Villain Kids.  And because of this, the Kids who had decided not to steal the wand,  now plan to go back and steal the wand.  The day of the coronation arrives and we learn that Ben knew about the love potion all along as it wore off, when he went in the lake during their first date.  During this time,   Mal is struggling with herself on whether or not, she can be the good person that Ben knows that she is or if she is destined to be the villain, her mother thinks that she is.  This doesn't matter much as Jane takes the wand from her mother as she wants to give herself the magical makeover that her mother won't give her.  It's too late to stop her as the barrier around the Isle of The Lost is broken and Maleficent takes advantage of this and heads to the Coronation. What about the other villains, you may ask.  They stay on the island.  Okay, let me get this straight.  We have Jafar, The Evil Queen, Cruella, and Maleficent and you only use one of them for the climatic battle. We could have had a cool climatic battle between good and evil but you only send one of the villains there.  And she freezes all of the attendants at the coronation save for the Villain Kids and says that they have failed her. Oh, not before she uses the wand to pick Fairy Godmother's nose.  Ewe! I'm gonna need another Elsa.

  

Okay, I'm better.  Does anything good come out of this battle? Well, if you didn't like how Jolie Maleficent didn't turn into a dragon, Kristin Chenoweth Maleficent does turn into a dragon

....For three minutes. And then is defeated by the power of love.  (No, it's not of The Huey Lewis and The News variety) as Maleficent shrinks down to the size of a lizard because that is amount of love she has in her heart.  And it ends with a dance party. And that is Descendants.  What do I think?  This film had some good ideas and I will not knock this film for it's ideas but where it falls flat is the execution.   This could have been a really cool film but all they did was mix  Disney tropes and characters with that of high school tropes and stereotypes.  And the end result came out feeling muddled.  Now, let's move onto characters and that is perhaps the film's biggest failing.

Characters

Before we get started here, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  While I may not like these characters and think they don't have much depth to them. I in no way mean any disrespect towards the actors in this film as they did their best with the flimsy material that were given.  Also, one thing you have to understand with me is that I love characters.  The characters to me are the most fascinating part of a story and that's  why I have done articles such as Power of The Princesses and Villains Profiles because I love exploring characters and seeing what makes them who they are.  So, when a story fails in the area, I am the most disappointed.  With that out of the way, let's start our look at the characters.

Main Characters

Mal played by Dove Cameron 

Mal had perhaps the most interesting or the potential for the most interesting arc in that she was given an internal struggle between being good and being what her mother expects of her.  This film gets close to fulfilling her arc and making her the standout character of this film. But they missed it. Though as she has the most character in the film, she is easily my favorite character if because, the others don't have much to make them stand out.

Jay played by Booboo Stewart

As soon as I saw Jay in this film, one thought came to mind and I have not been able to shake it since I watched this movie. He's an evil Aladdin.  Okay, think back to One Jump Ahead from Aladdin and this lyric.

I steal only what I can't afford(That's Everything!)

Now, while yes that is played for laughs in the song, we know from Aladdin's circumstances that he steals because he has no other means of getting by.  Whereas with Jay, it's an addiction.  He does it, just because he can. You take out the idea of Aladdin  doing this to get by and have him just do because he can, that's Jay. And his whole arc is about learning that he doesn't need to steal and that he can be a team player. Which really came outta nowhere.


Carlos played by Cameron Boyce

Carlos had the most disappointing arc in this film because it was wrapped up way too quickly.  It was wrapped before the middle of the film even kicked in.  His arc was such a rush job that it was frustrating.

Evie played by Sofia Carson

Evie like Mal is a little better than the boys in terms of her development as her whole arc is about learning that she doesn't have to rely on her looks to get boy's attention and can actually be smart and not act dumb.

Supporting Characters

Ben played by Mitchell Hope 

This character is such a goody good white knight that it's unbearable.  He's so bland, boring and forgettable that even though, he is Mal's love interest, I forgot that he was in the film half of the time. They didn't give this character enough to do and he felt less like a character and more like a device to keep the plot moving.

Chad Charming played by Jeddiah Goodarce 

This character, this character.  Congratulations Chad Charming, you have done the impossible as you have unseated Sharpay Evans from High School Musical as my most hated Disney Channel character.  I didn't think that was possible as I have had special kind of burning for Sharpay since I saw the first High School Musical in 2006 but within the span of one night,  this character made me hate him more because how much of a jerk, he is. From the idea that he is such an arrogant airhead of a jerk that he is willing to use young girls to his advantage or to the fact that he apparently cheated on half the daughters of the beloved Disney Princesses,  this character makes me sick.  I'm sorry but I need another Elsa image but Let It Go won't do.

Yeah, that seems fitting for how this character makes me feel. This is for every single one of those young princesses that had their hearts broken by this "prince" and I use that word in the loosest sense.

Audrey played by  Sarah Jeffery 

Speaking of Sharpay Evans,  we come to Audrey.  Audrey was just basically a Sharpay Evans clone and that's not saying a whole lot because all Sharpay Evans was , was a Queen Bee that ruled the school and could get her way. That also fits the description of Audrey.  Now to be fair, she is a smidge nicer than Sharpay but that's all she has going for her.

Jane played by  Brenna D' Amico 

I look at Jane's description as it's says that she's shy and insecure and another character comes to mind.  Fluttershy.  Because that also describes Fluttershy or where she was back in the first season but even with that said, Jane gave me more of a scaredy cat vibe than Fluttershy does now but again Flutters has grown. Though I think the issue here with Jane is that her shyness could have been handled better.  I believe that the film is implying that she is this way because of Fairy Godmother being her mother and that she perhaps feels  peer pressure to live up to who her mother is. And if that is the case,  I think more can be done with that.  But I do have to call this film out on something else,  it's only after Mal gives Jane a a new hairstyle that she becomes more confident.  Unintentional or not, I do feel that does reinforce the notion that girls need to have something about them change in terms of looks to be more confident in who they are. That's a bit troublesome.

Doug played by Zachary Gibson 

Well, this character sure does exist.  There's really not much to this character other than being super smart and helping Evie realize that she's also smart. And oh by the end of the movie, they're a couple. Huh, he's Dopey's son.  Well, I hope get-togethers with Snow White turn out better for Doug and Evie than they did for Mal and Ben with Queen Leah at Family Day.  

Lonnie played by  Diane Doan 

Well, this character sure does exist.  Huh, I'm getting a sense of Deja Vu.  Weird, it's as though I've already said that. I wonder why.  Heh, it's probably not a big deal.  Really, other than being Mulan's daughter, Lonnie doesn't have much going for her in terms of character.

The Fairy Godmother played by Melanie Paxson

I will say this about The Fairy Godmother in this movie, I liked her better than Helena Bohema Carter as The Fairy Godmother.  Though there were times, where she felt less like The Fairy Godmother and more like Supernanny.  I can't explain it but I just got that vibe from her. Maybe it had something to do with how she punished Jane at the end of the movie by saying that her teenage daughter was going in a very long timeout.  I found that a little weird and saying to the TV, she's a teenager, ground her. But whatever, she could've been handled much worse than she was.

Beast & Belle played by Dan Payne  &  Keegan Connor Tracy  

Okay, why is Beast making me think of Clark Kent? It has to be the glasses. That does bring me to another point, why was Beast never given a proper name in this film?  Because while Beast is what  we as Disney fans know him as,  I would say that that is what he was and not who he is.  Perhaps, it's just me but the idea that they never gave him a name and only refer to him as King Beast is a little awkward considering his past.  I mean they could have used the old myth that has been running in Disney circles for years that his real name is Adam.  Now, I've never bought into that myself as there hasn't been any official evidence of this but it would have solved the problem of just referring to him as King Beast and it would have also been a nice nod to longtime Disney fans.  As for Belle, Hi Blue Fairy.

Yep, Belle is Blue Fairy on Once Upon A Time.  I know I bring that up every time I mention this movie but I like doing that.   Again with Belle, not much is really done with here in this movie. 

Music

Rotten To The Core

Okay, this song ins't good.  It's barely passable as a good opening number darn it, if it isn't a catchy number. And this is the only time that Jay, Carlos, & Evie.  Because most of the other singing in this movie falls to Mal.  It's a fun number but it's not good.  I know some fans think this and the Be Our Guest Remix are the worst song in this film but I would disagree because we are coming to that right now.

Evil Like Me

Maleficent is singing a show tune. I repeat, Maleficent is singing a show tune. There is something incredibly wrong with that statement. Look, I'm not the biggest fan of Maleficent. I've gone on record saying that I think she's overrated but stuff like this is starting to make me feel sympathetic for the poor gal because it seems like no one at Disney can figure out what makes her such a popular Disney villain.  And this also leads to something else I have an issue with, Kristin Chenoweth as much as I love her was miscast in this role.  Kristin Chenoweth as an actress is just so at odds with what people think of, when they think of Maleficent.  Because Maleficent is supposed to be this great powerful force that strikes fear.  Kristin Chenoweth is too bubbly for that kind of role.  Oh and I'm also convinced that Mr. Ortega lifted the ending shot of this number from Hocus Pocus, which he also directed.  It just seems way too similar to one of the scenes of The Sanderson Sisters in that movie.

Did I Mention?

This song is okay. It's not bad but at best, it's forgettable.  There's really not much more I can say about this number.  It's a little corny but I think I would've like the numbers more if they were more like this and less like what I listened to up above.

If Only

While Dove Cameron has a good voice and I imagine that this is meant to be the radio single that Disney wants to give airtime to on Radio Disney, I really find this song forgettable.   It's not bad and it does a good job of exploring what she wants and how she starting to change.  But I don't know, it's just one of those songs that as soon as it's over, I forget it.

Be Our Guest

Oh, I wish that I could forget this one.  I have never come across a good remix done by Disney of one of their own songs.  And this is no exception.  This is just dorky. And look, I'm speaking as someone that has no troubles calling himself a dork but this is just bad.  I get what they were trying to do as they wanted to entertain their parents on Family Day with a song but Lumiere, show these kids how it's done.  That's better.

Set It Off

I barely paid attention to this song, when watching the film because I was just happy that the film was over but is it mandatory for Disney Channel films to end with a big song and dance number? Because I've noticed that in so many Disney Channel films that I've seen.  This song, it's fine I guess. I've heard worse and I've heard better.  It's not one I like but it doesn't get on my nerves.  

Villains

Jafar, The Evil Queen, & Cruellea De Vil played by  Maz Jobrani,  Kathy Najimy, & Wendy Raquel Robinson

Ugh, this was the film's biggest failing.  They made the villains that weren't Maleficent complete idiots in this movie.Granted, she had her moments as well and they didn't even feel like villains.  They felt more like they were lackeys to Maleficent.  No, that's Magic Mirror, Iago, Horace and Jasper.  Not Jafar, Cruella, and The Evil Queen.  This is indicative of something that I've seen with the Disney villains in the past, where Maleficent is pushed as the leader. Well here's its' pushed so far that these three can't do anything without Maleficent's guidance.  And Maleficent fans, I understand your frustration from last summer about they messed up your favorite Disney villain because they did that to mine with Jafar.  They turned him into a walking joke, who is a desperate old man, who still wants to get a lamp.  What happened to his Genie powers?   He feels less like a villain and more like someone I'd go to have something appraised.  Ah well, at least I have Naveen Andrews from Once Upon A Time In Wonderland for a good live action Jafar.

Maleficent played by Kristin Chenoweth 

There's really not much more I can say about this miscasting that I didn't touch upon when talking about Evil Like Me.  I love Kristin Chenoweth.  I became a fan of hers, thanks to Wicked and  I own her latest concert on DVD but even as a fan, this was such a miscast.  I never once bought Ms. Chenoweth in this role.  It felt less like someone playing Maleficent and more like someone cosplaying as Maleficent at Comic Con. 

My Final Thoughts

I've seen other reviews compare this film to Mr. Ortega's last big venture with Disney Channel, High School Musical. If I may speak as someone that is a fan of those films, each of those films had something that I felt was lacking from this film. Passion for the subject material.  Say what you will about High School Musical and the juggernaut that it became but I felt the love from the cast and crew that went into those movies. I never felt any passion for the subject material in this film.  And I stand by what I said up top in that I don't think that Disney saw this a film but rather a way to launch a new franchise.  I standby that belief and everything that I have seen in relation to this film hasn't dissuaded my opinion on that one bit.  That is my biggest issue because I have nothing against launching a new franchise because that for all intents and purposes is what Equestira Girls did but that film followed it's own logic and was able to not mess with things too much. And still deliver an entertaining story.  I'm not saying that people can't like this movie but I just think it could've been better than what it was and that's why it makes me so angry.  Since there is already talks of a sequel, I'll just say right now that I will not review that.   Peace!